Then Tweets My Soul: The Best of the Church Curmudgeon: The Best Of The Church Curmudgeon

"It used to be that the pastor's wife was huge and the sanctuary was smokin' hot." So observes the Church Curmudgeon (@ChrchCurmudgeon), the Internet's most infamous purveyor of fine vintage Christian whines. With more than nine thousand tweets and ninety thousand followers (so far), he's proven himself a stalwart of holy hilarity for all the people who know "it ain't the way it used to be, I'll tell you that." This poetic collection of the Curmudgeon's best 140-character compositions will make you ROFL as you recognize the regular cast of churchy characters, including the worship leader, the usher team, and maybe even yourself. A few more from the book to whet your appetite:Q: How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb in the sanctuary?A: They can’t. That would involve raising their hands in church.Jesus saved my soul. Peter’s vision saved my bacon.He's so Methodist, he goes to Sprinklin' Donuts.Pastor wants you to have the passion for church that you have for the Super Bowl. Scream at him if he fumbles his words during the sermon.How do Calvinists set off their fireworks?Predetonation.Usually when the writing is on the wall, it portends the death of a culture. But hey, fine, throw out the hymnals and use a projector.