Speaking to My Madness: How I Searched for Myself in Schizophrenia

This fascinating book encompasses Stanford, Harvard, Mensa, Italy, New Orleans, a ranch in Colorado, and Buenos Aires. Speaking to My Madness: How I Searched for Myself in Schizophrenia is a memoir of distinctly literary quality. It retraces a journey through alcoholism and schizophrenia, as it looks back -- by turns raw and poignantly lyrical -- in the quest for deeper understanding and redemption. While Roberta Payne struggled to overcome these difficult illnesses, she sustained a peripatetic career teaching college English, Latin, and Italian. Intensely lived episodes give the work drama and color -- the suicide of a dear friend in a mental hospital in which the author is being treated, the workings of a hurricane, views inside a drug house, the author's reunion with a sister after 45 years. She has balanced those moments with ones of equally intense introspection -- the ways of thinking and the feelings of severe illness, especially psychosis. There are a renowned psychiatrist, unforgettable friends, and a life-long love. Eventually, her struggles with cancer bring focus and healing to her life. Alcoholism, mental illness, and cancer are among the leading concerns of our times as they blight and claim lives while just as powerfully affecting those closest, family and friends. This book explores the unique nexus of these illnesses in a life which ultimately wrests transcendence from them. Dr. Payne's published work includes books of literary translation from the Italian, short stories, and articles on schizophrenia. She has spoken on schizophrenia to both local and national audiences, to medical students as well as to ordinary people seeking answers.