Reclaim Myself: A Handbook for Holistic Recovery

Part I Covers: ·First Things First·Courage·Pain If I had to sum up my thirty-year struggle with addiction, dependency, and mental health challenges, it would be: “Balance safety and growth.” Certainly, safety has been my paramount concern: I feel anxiety and fear when I don’t feel safe; anger is a defensive tool I use to ward off unsafe feelings; and pain is an urgent signal that I am unsafe. Although safety is central to my well-being, so is my need to grow. I have concluded that my primary purpose is to grow. In the past, I’ve put such an emphasis on safety that I have ignored my need to grow. The very tools I used to feel safe such as alcohol or drugs undermined my growth. I’ve found that if I choose to avoid growth entirely, I erode my physical and mental health. Balancing Safety and Growth I think of this dynamic as an internal teeter-totter. Safety sits on one side, and growth sits on the other. If I increase my emphasis on safety at the expense of my growth, I feel empty or unfilled. And I desire to escape that feeling. On the other hand, if I put too much emphasis on growth at the expense of safety, I develop mental health symptoms. If I am out of balance in either direction, my addictive tendencies and mental health symptoms flare up. They have since I was a teenager. Balance is my ideal: A state where I am growing at a safe pace. Balancing growth and safety, however, requires wisdom and practice. Having a clear purpose and maintaining a daily practice that aligns me with that purpose helps me maintain balance. In the past, I expected others to make me feel safe. Reclaim Myself is my attempt to take responsibility for maintaining my safety using tools that don’t compromise my ability or desire to grow. In the book, I delineate the practical techniques I use to maintain balance despite the ongoing pain and mental health challenges I face. I hope that my journey and workbook can inspire you to reclaim the best of yourself.