Mark Twain's Library of Humor

This historic book may have numerous typos, missing text, images, or index. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. 1888. Not illustrated. Excerpt: ... Timon Croesus come up and stand about so gentlemanly and say, " Well, Mrs. Potiphar, are we to have no more charming parties this season?" And Boosey says, in his droll way, "Let's keep the ball a-rolling!" That young man is always ready with a witticism. Then I step out, and James throws open the door, and the young men raise their hats, and the new crowd says: "I wonder who that is!" and the plush and purple and calves spring up behind, and I drive home to dinner. Now, Carrie, dear, isn't that nice? CARRIE'S COMEDY. BY WILLIAM LIVINGSTONE ALDEN. LLIAM LIVINGSTONE ALDEN made his reputation as the humorous editor of the New York Times. He was born at Williamstown, Mass., in 1837, received a collegiate education, and then studied law. He has published some eight volumes, mostly of a humorous character. Dr. Bartholomew, of Towanda Falls, Penn., is the proud possessor of an extremely precocious child. Miss Carrie Bartholomew is only ten years old, but, nevertheless, she is a young person of extraordinary acquirements and conspicuous culture. At the age of six she could read with great ease, and before reaching her eighth birthday she had developed a marked taste for novel-reading. About the same period she made her first attempt at authorship, and soon achieved an enviable reputation in several local nurseries, where her fairy tales were recited with immense applause. In her ninth year she wrote a novel--of which, unfortunately, no copies are now in existence--and begun an epic in six books upon "St. Bartholomew's Day"--which sanguinary event she classed among the ancestors of her family. The epic was discontinued after the completion of the second book, owing to the premature extermination of the Huguenots, but the young author lashed the Catholic party w...