Lesbian and Gay Marriage : Private Commitments, Public Ceremonies

The 24 same-sex couples in this book reveal the qualities that inspire people to create lifetime partnerships. Marriage is more than a relationship sanctioned by law; it is the centerpiece of American social structure and is at the core of the traditional definition of family. This book offers a unique perspective on the controversial subject.In the days before marriage was legalized in any state in the United States, half of the same-sex couples featured in this book married in traditional wedding ceremonies, facing challenges within their religious communities and families. In one story, a Quaker couple that asked their Meeting for consensus on their wedding request was not granted it. The other half of same-sex couples featured in this book have chosen not to marry, believing the construct of marriage not to be useful to them for any reasons besides the legal protections marriage bestows. These intimately described committed partnerships are between three and thirty-eight years long at the time of publication. The couples are from throughout the United States and represent diverse racial and class backgrounds. They include such prominent lesbian rights activists as Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, who married in 2008, when California became the second state to legally recognize same-sex marriage, fifty-five years into Lyon and Martin's committed partnership and two months before Martin's death, at 87 years old. For the married couples, each narrative addresses the affects of the marriage on their relationship and reactions of family and friends to their public commitment. All couples address the everyday issues of their relationships, revealing the commonalities among us all -- married or unmarried. Also included are personal observations by same-sex wedding ceremony officiators representing a variety of religions, including a Catholic priest, a female rabbi and a Wiccan high priestess.