Broken Hallelujah: 40 Days In The Wilderness

While in the process of trying to heal this anoxic brain injury—at least not give up trying—I would like to explain what it is like in hopes of helping you to understand what my “new normal” is. Perhaps, with this knowledge, you can overlook the typos, misspellings, and incomplete thoughts as I try to share our story.One day, while Matt (my husband) and I were alone on the deck watching the clouds, I explained to him that I feel like my head is that way...it’s cloudy. Some days are rain clouds when I cry out of sadness. I experience feelings of being overwhelmed listening to a special song or a sad audiobook. But with the rain, there's always a rainbow! I am joyful for this opportunity to live yet another day for him, Aubrey, Emily, our family, and friends!I do, however, look forward to days with no clouds, just sunshine and clear thoughts! That will be a special day when I can move freely and without hesitation or pain! Matt reached for my hand and gently said, “I know your fear and hesitation. I understand looking back and trying to remember the freedom you once had, your old life. It won’t help. That part is gone and it’s up to you to find and embrace your new normal. Never stop. Never quit. Believe you are here for a reason. We are blessed with people who come our way with understanding, patience, and encouragement.” He has taken on this journey with me, and he is my cheerleader, my confidant, and always my friend! I am so blessed! This is my story. I can’t force anyone to believe it, but it is my prayer that you will find hope.